Dealing With the Jitters
You are about to take the plunge. You should be a glowing bride, but instead you are breaking out into a cold sweat. You are panicky about more than just whether the flowers will look right and if your mom or your mother-in-law will do anything to embarrass you on your big day. You are worrying about your spouse-to-be. Can you live with the fact that he can't be interrupted during a baseball game or how he leaves water all over the bathroom sink? Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with the same person?
Relax! Pre-wedding jitters are common among those about to get hitched. Occasionally, there are real reasons to call off a wedding. But more often than not, it's just a case of cold feet. What should you do? First, go to a quiet place to think. Do some deep breathing, and get in touch with your emotions. Ponder things like:
- What you enjoy most about your spouse-to-be
- The moment you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him/her
- What you look forward to during your marriage
- Couples who have been married for years as a source of inspiration
- Changes in your partner
Things like less bedroom activity or petty annoyances like the fact that he didn't empty the dishwasher this morning are related to wedding-planning stress. However, if your partner is really acting in a way or doing things you don't like or didn't know about him, such as abusing drugs or alcohol, speak to him or a counselor. Assess if these are short-term issues or ones that may persist after the big day. Serious problems may warrant that you postpone or call off your wedding.
Most likely, you are both having the same jitters. If you have time, arrange a romantic evening with your partner that is free of talks about florists and photographers and away from both of your mothers! It will ease the stress and reaffirm the reasons why you are getting married in the first place.